Day 2

Dear moi darling blog,

             I need someone to be there for me again. She told me things again. Hari ni rase macam panjang sangat. She just can't bear it. Can't sleep. Can't eat. Can't even think straight. The only she can do is pray to Allah SWT to be strong to face this test. She recite Al-Quran and doa so that she can pull herself together. That's all she can do for now.

              Her housemates are like her savers. Everytime she's termenung they will try to make her laugh. So untung maa dapat housemate cenggitu. She just don't know whats gonna happen if she's all alone. At night, she cried herself to sleep. Cry is all she can do.

             She really wants to pick up the phone and call him or text him. Just to say ' I miss you so much yg'
or 'I just hope we can be like before' or just a not so simple 'I LOVE YOU sayang' that means so much. But she can't. Although she loves him so much. So much yang sampai orang laen takkan paham. She has to live with the consequences. Need to give him all the time he's gonna need. This time although the future is not looking so good, she needs to put and try her best to make him happy for the last time. Sad but true.

              I think he's happy today because he doesn't have to think of her. If it kills her inside, she just hope that he is at peace. For a second, she thought, I'm sorry.

Heart beats fast,
colours and promises,
How to brave,
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall,
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow,
One step closer.
I have died everyday waiting for you,
And I have loved you for all our times.

(sounds childish with the lyrics and all but that's what the heart is saying right now)

Till then.